“Listen kids, I know I’m a talking bear and all, but aliens? Really? Call me a skeptic, but I think you are all far too stoned to take you seriously. So you guys have fun, I’m going somewhere else.” You bow out just as gracefully as you entered and walk away. Managing to make it a few steps before you remember the real reason you walked over to the campsite to begin with. With a sigh you turn around and head back to the campers. Upon seeing your glum face return; their faces light up in belief that you believe them. They all stand and begin to speak, but you hold up your hand before they can make a sound. “Yeah don’t get your hopes up kids, not here for your little alien hunt, that’s just ridiculous. But I am bored, so give me a talking bear some beer… and maybe pot. After that we’ll see about hanging out with you on your dumb adventure.
They easily hand over a few beers and a joint. Since you don’t have opposable thumbs you ask for their assistance in opening the beers. As for the pot, you just ask for a bong… it’ll make things so much easier. After a couple of hits from the bong and a few beers poured into a bowl so you can drink from it you mood is calmed. “Maybe this whole alien thing might not be so bad.” You chuckle. The kids follow suit in the laughter. Too bad the munchies kick in and you lunge at the closest camper. Immediately you begin to tear the flesh from his body as the others scream out in fear. The terror filled screams make you giggle as you continue to eat the camper. The oddest thing is that the others are so stoned they don’t even think of getting up and running away. So you just take your time in eating the kids one by one until your hunger is satiated and not a scream or a movement comes from the once giddy campers.
After your meal the itis kicks in and you start to doze. Now you can stay there and just sleep the meal off or go back home and sleep in the safety of your own cave. What’ll you do?
The itis speaks (4-G)
Cave nap (4-H)
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