Mexico it is (6-U)

Screw this! You tried to be a good person, but fuck babies… well you know not literally, that would be gross. One day while your spouses are in lamaze class you pack your things into a hobo sack and flee the country once again. As you make it to the border you see missing person signs with a drawing of your likeness, but after examining it; it looks more like that cartoon bear with the tie and hat. Before you cross back over the the states you stop by and spend a few days with your squirrel buddy and his husband the bobcat. They give you shelter and supplies for the journey ahead.

The border crossing is quite easy and you just go through the forest and no one noticed or cared. You abandoned you flannel shirts, so i'm sure the lack of bright colors helped. Other things you abandoned were the spouses you made promises to love eternally, along with your old life and unborn children. But don’t worry I’m not judging; you’ve always been a dead beat to me.

You travel through America and have adventures along the way; you spend some time with a circus as well… a talking bear. Cause to most that in itself is pretty fucking freaky. Then you get involved with building the first green engine, but no one wanted an engine that solely ran on yo mamma jokes. The company tanked and you moved on. Then there was that stint you spent in Vegas as an Elvis impersonator. But those days were short as you mauled a prostitute in your hotel room and ditched town.

after a few weeks you made your way to the Mexican border. Staring at a giant crappy fence you look left and see nothing, on your right side is even more nothing. After a deep breath you bear punch a hole right through that fucking wall and just casually walk right through. Bam, you’re in Mexico now. Goodbye old life. Now can you get a sombrero? I think it’s time for tequila shots, some fireworks and a siesta. Fuck them gringos in Canada.

You settle in to a small home, but then decide to move into the Mayan pyramid. At first the natives are offended, but you start walking around with a Mayan headdress and they leave you alone. Some even deliver food and the local paper in the mornings. After learning more about your neighbors and the hardships they face you decide it’s time for yet another life change. Sure this pyramid is spacious, but how can you live in the life of luxury while these people go hungry. So you do what has come natural to you, sneak across borders. Only now you bring Mexicans so they can have better lives in America. Of couse to them that may mean getting poorly paid for landscaping or cleaning houses, but shit it’s not like white people planned on doing that themselves.

Your life as a coyote is a prosperous one. You help those less fortunate for a nominal fee they can afford. And bring them across the border with ease. Cause no one suspects foul play of a playful bear hanging around the fence. Best part about it, no marriage, no babies and no pressure. You’re a hero to the people and in the end you earned that pyramid that you live in.

The End