Why stop now? You dealt with puns, met campers, got high, saw aliens, met a charming squirrel, took part in a gay marriage and became a lumber jack. Not to mention you married a lady a wizard and a crocodile that are all now pregnant. Obviously you decision making skills are top notch and you should keep things going.
You tell your wife, husband and reptilian wife that you are overjoyed they are having your children. Not even thinking about what will happen with the cross breeding issue. There’s also the bestiality issue, but you’re in Canada… pretty sure they don’t mind there. Your Mutant babies aside you realize that you will have to provide for your children and make sure they have a better life than you did. Granted you grew up in a forest and got harassed by other animals for speaking, so that should be an easy one. Abby's father brought you on as a foreman and plans on retiring soon, so with the news that he is going to be a grandfather he decides it’s time. “A man needs to provide for his own son,” he tells you. So I’ll be leaving my daughter and company in your care.
Life is good; you increase productivity in the company to an all time high. Hiring more of your fellow forest creatures increases efficiency and musical number production. Plus you don’t have to pay them as much because they are dumb animals. And the pregnancies are coming along perfectly. Before you know it the due dates have arrived. Time to be a father… or should I say Papa Bear? After a 3 long exhausting 12 hour labors where you have to run from room to room your spouse’s give birth… to half breed baby koalas. That’s right, koalas.
As you raise them you try and remember if maybe you are part koala and that gene came out in your kids. It’s awkward to push a 3 baby stroller down the street as a black bear with baby koalas. After weeks of embarrassment you approach Abby, the crocodile and the wizard demanding the truth. They get upset and tell you that you are the father, but that isn’t enough for you. Of course the next logical step is calling that TV show host and having a paternity test where the results are announced on air. Unfortunately he’s not willing to fly you all down from Canada so you call his second cousin Laury who does the same bit on a public access channel. Sure the ratings are not as high, but at least you don’t have to pay for the paternity test.
Your story makes all the headlines and next thing you know you, Abby, the wizard, the crocodile and the 3 koala babies are stars of a reality show about your daily lives. It lasts for 5 seasons and you even get an album deal out of it. The oddest thing is even after all of that; no one realized you were a bear.
The end
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