“Look 3 babies in baskets near those bushes over there. And they’re covered in trout, honey, cake and berries,” you shout pointing off somewhere else. They hesitate this time knowing you are probably tricking the once again. “No really,” you plead. “They’re going to get away if you don’t eat them.” You try to peer around them in making it seem like something is there in desperation to get them to believe that there are babies covered in bear treats.
Slowly Hanz begins to turn, but only to spring back and punch you dead center in the snout. You fall to the ground in a confused daze… and a little sad. You can’t have expected that to work, but yes it would have been awesome. As Hanz and his bear posse loom over you, they get ready to exact their revenge for having them run around the forest all day. No bear likes to exercise… especially ally right after hibernation.
When all seems lost you hear a rustle in the bushes. Could it be help? A group of agitated badgers that are sick of Hanz pushing them around and here to exact revenge. Nope from behind the bushes come three tiny human babies… and they just happen to be battered in trout, honey, cake and… yup you guessed it, Berries. The chances of that are pretty fucking impossible, but now you just feel guilty. So now you just lay there on the ground in guilt as Hanz and his merry crew tear apart those babies and savor every little tiny bite. For a few minutes the forest is bathed in cries from tiny human creatures, but then silence.
Afterwords they don’t care about you as they just had the best meal of their life. So you’re free to go and find something to do. As for me, I don’t think we can hang out anymore. It’s dangerous to be around you.
The end
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