Cream (6-B)

POWER SUIT TO THE MAX!!!!!! See what I did there? I signified the importance of how good of a choice you made with all capital letters and an unnecessary amount of exclamation points. Cream Suit; a great call really. It highlights and accentuates your fur so flawlessly that simply holding it up to yourself make the agent swoon. You know what? It’s such a great call I’m going to say it again. POOOWWWEEERRR SSSUUUIIITTT TTTOOO TTTHHHEEE MMMAAAAXXXXX!!!!!!!!!!!! THERE GOT THAT OUT OF MY SYS… oh sorry I left caps lock on.

In a slow motion montage the agent helps you get dressed. Ending with an adjustment of your tie and putting on your official ass kicking sunglasses. With a glimmer of lust and infatuation the agent watches you leave the room and head to your new office. That’s right in the short time on the job you’ve already been promoted twice and now have a corner office and your own task force. Awesome? Fuck yes. You walk off the elevators and jr. agents hand you coffee and brief you on an evil mastermind that they have been tracking for months. As the new head of the department it is up to you and your team to bring this mastermind down and disassemble is extensive terror network. You call a meeting with your staff and demand to see charts, satellite images and assign one agent to write your quips and puns to say as the agents debrief you on the information they already have.

After the meeting you confirm that it is your team that will storm this masterminds Volcano base and bring his ass to justice… or kick him in the face as he teeters on the top of the volcano sending him plummeting into the molten magma. But you sent an agent out to tally which would be more suitable and badass. It’s good to be the boss. It’s almost a shame to wear a lead vest over your new suit, but it only further improves your image. You get a call from the president then and there awarding you with a commendation medal. He even lets you borrow Air Force One to fly over to the Volcano island base. With your men ready and heavily armed you give a speech that rallies them and boosts moral. Mostly consisting of pointing to your suit and letting them touch it, so you stuck to the highlights. Ready to go you green light the troops and they all spill out of the plane ready to parachute down to the base. Also this lets you free up the plane to use it as a missile as you send it crashing into the island. You would have used an actual missile, but Air Force One had no armaments much to your dismay. But you weren’t upset, the president called to apologize halfway through the trip.

You land on the Island as magma begins to spill out of the top of the volcano. I guess that’s what happens when you fly a plane into a volcano. No one blames you though, you looked awesome doing it. Your team scrambles across the island to infiltrate the base as you watch on. Out of nowhere the Evil Mastermind’s minions exit the base to counterattack. You see your men take on the wave of hawk alligator hybrids with scales, blood and feathers flying everywhere. Knowing you don’t have time to drag this out in a half an hour battle scene you run past the fighting to take on the mastermind yourself. But just so know the battle going on is epic, well dressed agents fighting hawkagators to a stalemate. Before you enter the base you even see squid monkey hybrids show up to turn the tide. Hopefully someone takes some photos of this so you can tag yourself on your online profile cause that was awesome. For now it’s work time, so get to it.

By the time you enter the base and make your way to the central command chamber you see the Evil Mastermind running into an escape pod. You get to him in time to simply watch the door on the pod close in your face. All the admiring of the battle scene must have taken too long because you hear on your radio that the island surface is getting overrun with magma, hawkagators and squionkeies. Your team had to withdraw as well for safety reasons and a helicopter is waiting on the roof to airlift you out. To make sure this island won’t be used for evil again you set a large amount of explosives in the command center and make your way to the roof.

As you’re flying back to the states you watch that island almost covered in magma explode into glorious fireworks. Standing on the rails you watch it all melt and burn. Your tie fluttering in the wind and not a speck of dirt on your suit, It just sways as your blackberry suddenly goes off. You received an email from the agent you left in DC telling you your theme music is done. You play the attachment as you lean out of the helicopter in the suit with your eyes reflecting the flames of victory. Watching hawkadiles fly from the island and the squionkies flee into the ocean you know the mission is over. You know that Evil mastermind will show his face again… and you will be ready for him next time.

The End