You’ve time traveled and ended up in the Middle Ages in a castle where a super hot princess named Penelope is asking for your help. And that is enough adventure for one day; you want to go home now. Sure you grew up in a cave, but you at least had electricity and working plumbing in there. “To live without such luxuries would simply be savage.” you; the talking bear explained to the royal court.
“Sir Bear, I understand your desire to return home, but my people are in need of a hero.” The princess pleaded. “We have been at war with the dark wizard Persephone for far too long. His evil beasts ravage our lands and we are losing this fight. It was prophesied that in our time of great need a hero such as you would come from the heavens to aid us.” Wow talk about guilt trip. They even pulled out a tattered scroll that showed a bear standing upright shoving a sword into the heart of a demon. Then in the next picture the bear was standing around in the sunlight with people cheering. Now that is laying it on pretty thick. These people must really need you.
Oh well, to be fair that bear in the photo can be any bear… with the dexterity and thumb power to hold a sword. You return the scroll and turn down their offer once again to make sure they get the point. “Sorry princess I am a pacifist and took an oath of nonviolence long ago.” This makes everyone have sad faces which are the opposite of what the scroll showed… so it can’t be you. The bear in the scroll wasn’t a dick.
Being the great and pretty princess that she is Penelope asks the mages of the court to prepare a spell to return you to your time. You say your goodbyes and walk through the portal. After seeing a bright light, a crack & a sizzle you exit out in your time. Everything looks like it was and you don’t think you destroyed the space time continuum so that’s good. Alright adventure over, what say we get a sandwich? You’re buying.
THE END
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