The way you see it a person should remember the how they were proposed to. A memory that gets retold to their family till they get old, or go senile… or just die. It is a magical moment that the person you attempted to share your life with holds on to forever in their hearts and cherish. So you want to make sure Abby will never forget it, no matter what.
She follows you blindfolded as you lead her through the woods. You say you’re going for a picnic. The blindfold part… well you just ignore her questions about that and talk about snacks. When you walk out to a clearing she can feel the radiance of light on her face.
“Candles?” she whispers trying to figure out the surprise.
“Ray, where are we?” she questions.
Silence fills the air, she holds still for an answer and you make sure not to even take a breath lest she figures out where you are. After a moment she slowly peels down the blindfold to take a peak. Her eyes look out to all her friends and family holding candles in the lumberyard, and kneeling at her feet is you.
Taking her hand you softly speak, “This is the exact spot where I first saw you. I remember how my heart just began to beat so fast I felt it would burst out of my-“
“LOUDER!” One of the family members yelped.
“Out of my chest.” You finished. “At that moment I knew that all I wanted out of life was to spend every last bit of it with you, nothing else mattered.”
“Oh, Ray…” she managed let out before her eyes welled up in joy. She knew what was coming next and couldn’t manage another word.
“Abby Lefleneiur… I’m a bear.”
Aww the look in her eyes as you pro- WAIT?! WHAT!?! Yeah that just killed the mood. And now everyone is looking on kinda pissed… but mostly shocked. I mean I think it was pretty obvious, but they are Canadian. Silence fills the air of the forest, which is inhabited by animals and other things that should be making noise right now. Anyway you might want to start running; the lynch mob is passing around the torches.
In short you made your proposal memorable, by bringing the bride to tears for facing the fact that she committed bestiality. Months from now after various pills and therapy dealing with that knowledge she is eventually going to end up in a psych ward somewhere and burnt out from all the shock therapy. Also you got the entire town to hunt you down and skin you alive years later when you just don’t have it in you to hide anymore… they make you into a rug, but it at leas bring the family peace. Cheers.
THE END
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